Starry-eyed, looking up at the vast specs of light in the depths of the freshly midnight sky – wondering if, just maybe, that teasingly jerky dot is travelling a bit too susceptibly fast to be a plane..? Or perhaps you remember compulsively neatly laying out some extravagantly calorific, and potentially boozy, nibbles and drinks for Santa and his Reindeer friends (how did he get away with drinking and driving, by the way?!).

Regardless of how you wear your mistletoe-tinted glasses over the holiday period, it is needless to say that two of the principal staples of Christmas are the tree and Santa’s otherworldly sleigh.

“How on earth does he get around the World in a bit of wood?” 

You probably relentlessly asked your parents. “Holiday cheer, love,” your Mum most likely responded.

I’m not sure about you, but even as a naive child I met this unanimously accepted claim (by kids, I should add) with some scepticism.

“How does he not get speeding tickets?” I recall asking while interrogating my half-conscious Grandad.

Well now, ladies and gentlemen we have our answer. Santa actually drives a 750-HP 2021 Porsche 911 Turbo S – which explains an awful lot if you ask me.

Forget the old myths of mystically powered reinforced-cardboard, Santa still relies on good old, or new I suppose you could say if you consider the recent model’s rise of 641 to 750 horsepower, Porsche grit, pace and engineering.

Meet John Hennessey, oh sorry I mean Saint Nicholas, a man who had a surprisingly cheerily festive mission – to set the fastest Christmas tree delivery record ever with none other than a brand spanking new Turbo S.

With pillows tucked under the three Santa’s bellies, “Rudolf” in the driving seat (in the form of racing driver Spencer Geswein), a big fat tree bow-wrapped on top of the 911 and a Porsche pining to get some track time, it was clear what had to happen next – they needed to burn some serious rubber, sleigh style, and dethrone the current record holder (an immense HPE1000 Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk).

Unfortunately despite their best efforts, the Porsche managed just under what was needed with a 175 mph maximum recorded time while the tree was stringed to its body. However, in saving grace of this disappointment, they did remove the tree after the attempt, and subsequently clocked in a ridiculous 209-mph.

The moral of the story is that Turbo S’s are frighteningly fast, Santa should be forced to do a breathalyser once in a while and that Christmas should be about having some fun (don’t let old St. Nick have it all)!

Merry Porsche-mas from all of us here at Design911!